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Joke of the Day

"I went for a job as a stunt double, I stubbed my toe on my way out the door. As soon as I stopped crying, I went to the interview. Bravery."

"Thanks to Facebook I feel like we probably need a new word for friend.'"

"They've just released a female version of Viagra. It's called Niagara."

"Michelle Obama puts her secret lovers number in her phone under Ben Ghazi knowing that by doing so Barack will never search for the truth"

"Life is like toilet paper... you're either on a roll or taking shit from some asshole."

"I found a cure for my debilitating cancer. I dumped her and started to see a capricorn instead."

"Studies show 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of our population."

"UPCOMING JESUS APPERANCES 8/3 Pancake, Norfolk, VA 8/10 Cheeto, Salem, OR 8/19 Window stain, Orem, UT 8/23 Vegemite Jar, Perth, AU"

"Why does Helen Keller only masterbate with one hand? She needs the other to moan."

"They canceled school and reminded everyone to ""Prepare for a blackout"" I've got 2 bottles of Vodka and percocet Blackout is *so happening*"