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Joke of the Day

"Apple was going to make a smaller version of the ipod touch for kids, until they realized the name iTouch Kids wasnt an acceptable name."

"Why was the cancer doctor so tired? He was always oncol"

"No wonder Jared lost weight... He doesn't like footlongs."

"What do you call a married knot? Monotonous. Bonus answer from my wife: a noose."

"What's pink with seven dents? Snow white's hymen"

"What did the hungry dyslexic order at the movie theater? Cop porn * This is probably already a joke but I'm experiencing a huge coffee crash so it was hilarious to me."

"What did the tumblr user do when she got arthritis? Massage a knee."

"Yelling at a dog... Yelling at a dog to stop barking doesn't work. The dog just probably thinks, 'Awesome, now we are both barking!'"

"""Hey, did you hear about the blonde that lost over 85% of her intelligence?"" ""No, actually. How'd it happen?"" ""I dunno, but I hear that it happened at around the same time her husband died."""

"Looking for jokes about short people... e.g. My friend is so short he XXX"