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Joke of the Day

"Welcome to the jungle. My name is Axl Rose. I think you'll find we run a pretty good jungle here. There's the toilet *points everywhere*"

"So i said to my wife... ""Every time you correct my grammar, I love you a little bit fewer"""

"We've been over this. I DO NOT WANT A PDF OF YOUR MENU."

"Do you Karen promise to love and to cherish Mark, always put the toilet paper on the roll over the top, and not leave crumbs in the butter?"

"When I was a kid people used to cover me in chocolate and cream and place a cherry on top of my head. Yeah, life was tough in the gateau..."

"My girlfriend from 65 years ago passed away.... Surprising because she was never one to go down first"

"Why won't bankers go to the opera? Because they quickly lose interest"

"What did the plant say to the vegan? Leaf me alone."

"i still remember the disappointment when i learned that ""diuretic"" doesn't mean ""gives you diarrhea."" (it was 20 minutes ago)"

"What do you call a clock tower somebody lives in? A timely manor."