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Joke of the Day

"Why does Santa come only once a year? (Its not the chimney one) Because it's all his sack can handle"

"So I bought an elephant for my friend's room the other day. When I gave it to her, she said, ""Thanks."" And I said, ""Don't mention it!"""

"[God creating the octopus] Idk, maybe make it look like the time I tried to cram the old pool noddles into a trash bag."

"Everybody is a kid of some decade, but ""90's kids"" are the only ones who are annoying about it."

"The reason I married an Asian chick... Is so I get to eat Chinese every night."

"What, according to Freud, comes between fear and sex? ...funf."

"I went to the doctor with a hearing problem He said ""Can you describe the symptoms?"" I said ""Homers a fat bloke and Marge has blue hair"""

"Why did Hitler kill himself? He got his gas bill."

"Why do pigs like February 14th? They get lots of Valenswines."

"Why cant Stephen Hawking put on a comedy show? Because he cant do stand-up"