63903

Joke of the Day

"shops have changed so much. In my day you could go in with a pound and get a bag of crisp and a magazazine now days they have cameras"

"Katy Perry says that god spoke to her before the Super Bowl and said ""you got this,"" so it's safe to say that god has crappy taste in music."

"I always wanted to be my own boss so now I run a nonprofit Not by choice, im just a shitty salesman."

"What's a greater Pressure, the impact of Earth hitting the sun, the impact of Earth hitting the moon, or Republican demands for Carson and Kasich to drop out? Please discuss. Thanks."

"How many ""friend-zoned"" guys does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They'll just compliment it and get pissed when it wont screw."

"*Wife blows me a kiss from across the room* *I pretend to catch it* *I walk over to the window and toss it outside* ""Grow up Karen"""

"[IAmA request] UPS delivery man. I hope OP delivers."

"What did the exponential equation say to the linear equation? Real graphs have curves."

"What's long and black? The unemployment line"

"The Online Biology Class I almost got expelled in an Online Biology crash course earlier. They asked me what the major constituent of cells are. Turns out, ""black people"" is NOT a good answer."