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Joke of the Day

"Whats a mans favorite word that starts with 'm' and ends in 'arriage'? A miscarriage! This joke never gets old, just like the baby!"

"I can make a movie with my hand. All it takes is a FLICK of the wrist!"

"I just got married to a young woman from Thailand and she told me that a small penis is okay. I still wish she didn't have one though."

"Keep your friends close and your enemies tied to a train track."

"What do mathematicians use to get fast delivery? Amazon'"

"Two flies are on a toilet seat. One gets pissed off."

"I was talking to a mathematician the other day about fractions it was fair to say, our opinions were divided"

"I'm like a mouse. If u give a mouse a cookie hes gonna want some milk. If u gimme a beer im gonna want some nachos. Plus we both like cheese"

"Have you ever shoed a horse? No, but I've told a donkey to fuck off."

"My little old fish didn't move around in her bowl all day. i thought she was dead but it turns out she was just going through minnow pause."