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Joke of the Day

"Religion is a lot like sex They've both destroyed just as many lives as they have created."

"I've never actually finished the song ""Rock Your Body"" by Justin Timberlake because I'm afraid I'll be naked by the end."

"Q: Why shouldn't you bowl against a snake? A: Because snakes make lots of strikes."

"This Halloween I'm going to dress up like Bernie Sanders... and go around the bar drinking 90% of everyone elses beer..."

"My cat's staring at the wall again. Either she can see ghosts, or she's mulling over past social situations she wishes she'd handled better."

"What's the difference between a magician and a psychologist? A magician makes rabbits appear in hats, while a psychologist makes habits appear in rats."

"Michael Jackson would be 54 today if he hadn't hired such a gifted nap specialist."

"Racism doesn't matter Watch Close your eyes *person closes eyes* See? We all black now!"

"I put a bumper sticker on my car that says ""honk if I'm pretty"" Sometimes when I'm sad I go park at green lights"

"What's the difference between a viola and a coffin? With a coffin, the dead person is on the inside."