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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a Catholic and Baptist? A Catholic will say hello to you in a liquor store."

"[On The Cross] Jesus:""Father, forgive them, fore they know no-"" Voice from the crowd:""DO THE WINE TRICK"""

"My programmer friend keeps telling me I'm using too many brackets. I keep telling him that two wont hold all those books he never reads."

"Tell women at the bar you are the lead singer of Train. There's no way they can know your lying."

"My parents are pretty middle aged. ""So? That's pretty norm-"" *two knights bust in* ""CHILD, DOST THOU REQUEST REFRESHMENTS FROM THE TAVERN?"""

"Why was the peanut so salty? Because it got R O A S T E D"

"The Queen Said If I had Balls I'd Be The King.. The king laughed... not because he wanted to because he had two."

"Do you know what beats meat? a hand."

"Don't touch my twat my itchy twitchy twat .... Miley Cyrus. Ba dum tish"

"Seven billion other people in the world and not one of them are naked in front of me right now. That just isn't right"