637

Joke of the Day

"If Trump wins, I'm leaving the country, if Clinton wins I'm leaving the country Not a political post, I just love to travel"

"I have a pen pal in North Korea I asked him what's it like there. ""I can't complain"" he wrote back."

"What do you call an indentured servant hired specifically to cut meat for you? A *Filet Minion*."

"I'm probably not going to get accepted into the optimist club."

"If two wrongs don't make a right, what do two rights make? The first airplane."

"I once had an epileptic fit during my turn at a game of charades. Everyone just kept yelling, ""HOW MANY WORDS?"" and ""IS IT THE EXORCIST?""."

"I named my cat ""Curiosity"". He killed himself ... Nine times."

"I gave a paraplegic a Rubik's cube... Left him completely stumped."

"""if our love was a tweet, i'd fav, RT and 'gram a screen grab, bae."" - modern vows"

"Q: How many Englishmen does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: What do you mean change it? It's a perfectly good bloody bulb! We have had it for a thousand years and it has worked just *fine*."