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Joke of the Day

"""i like a woman that's loud in the bedroom"" *wife smashes a bulldozer through the bedroom wall with 2 air horns blaring* ""damn i love you"""

"Grease (1978, musical) A highschool girl wins happiness and the acceptance of her peers by changing who she is and taking up smoking."

"I can only fall asleep if someone kneels at my bedside with their mouth open & full of Pop Rocks"

"The wife shares my sense of humour. She hasn't fcuking got one of her own."

"Hey baby, you're just like my little toe... ...because I'm going to bang you on every piece of furniture in my home."

"What's worse than a centipede with sore feet? A giraffe with a sore throat"

"Why are Jewish men circumsised? Because Jewish women only touch things 20% off."

"Q.How can you tell when a Chicago Fireman is dead? A. The remote control slips from his hand."

"On the baseball diamond, I'm like a T-Rex. I have a short arm."

"Q: What do blondes and cow-pats have in common? A: They both get easier to pick-up with age."