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Joke of the Day

"Hey baby, you're just like my little toe... ...because I'm going to bang you on every piece of furniture in my home."

"Why do giraffes have a great love life? Because they keep a good distance between their brains and their heart."

"Why do mermaids wear sea shells? Because D-shells are too big and B-shells are too small."

"""I'm sorry Mickey, I can't file divorce just because you think Minnie's silly."" ""Your honor, I don't think you understand. She's *fucking* Goofy!"""

"you think there'd be a word for 'sleeping bag' that isn't a placeholder description of what it is"

"Malaysia has some of the world's best magicians They make entire planes disappear."

"Have you heard the one about the successful black man? Neither have I! I hope this isn't a repost. I made this joke, but I wouldn't be surprised if somebody else thought of it before me."

"Have you heard about the pig who took up disco dancing? He liked to swing his weight around."

"I'd like to thank /r/TwoXChromosomes... ...for reminding that I'm not logged into my account."

"If I had a nickle for every time I heard the word Diversity at the Oscars.. I still wouldn't give a shit."