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Joke of the Day

"On the baseball diamond, I'm like a T-Rex. I have a short arm."

"My wife left me because I couldn't control my pasta touching fetish... I'm feeling cannelloni right now"

"If swimming is such great cardio, explain manatees."

"Every time someone uses the word ""intense"", Chuck Norris always replies ""you know what else is intense?"" followed by a roundhouse kick to the face."

"What's the highest point in the ocean? The Marijuanas Trench."

"The best vacation? Close your eyes and throw a dart at a map. Where did it land? Doesn't matter. Just keep your eyes closed and go to sleep."

"Have you heard the Eric Garner joke? It's so funny I can't breathe Edit: Woah gold, thank you kind stranger :D"

"A man was driving a black truck. His lights were not on. The moon was not out. A lady was crossing the street. How did the man see her? It was a bright sunny day."

"Why did the bandit from Burma vote for Trump and Hillary to be the primary candidates? Because, Master Wayne, some men just want to watch the world burn."

"At a business meeting: ""How about SuperCupid?"" ""No, expectations will be too high"" ""GreatCupid?"" ""Lower"" ""Uhhh, OKCupid?"" ""Brilliant"""