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Joke of the Day

"Why is the sea so strong? It has a lot of mussels."

"What concert is worth 45 cents? 50 cent with Nickelback"

"""May I have my surgery badge, Scout Master?"" ""Um, there's no such thing."" ""There was no such thing as a duck squirrel til now. Badge me!"""

"Monday, Tuesday Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday Those were the days..."

"My sex life is a lot like the Olympic 100m final. I wait 4 years for it and it's over in less than 10 seconds."

"The flying V Why is it when ducks fly in a V one side is longer. More ducks on that side."

"There are 2 things that I absolutely hate: The first is racism And the second is sitting next to a black in the bus."

"I got hooked on Italian food in high school after my dealer sold me a bag of oregano."

"Based on all the white smoke billowing out, I think my lawn mower just picked a new pope."

"What is the definition of 'making love'? Something a woman does while a guy is f***ing her."