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Joke of the Day
"What concert is worth 45 cents? 50 cent with Nickelback"
Next Joke
"I hate when my congressman emails me to ""take action"" on an issue. Dude, you're the one in congress, you do something."
"When does a joke become a dad joke? When the punchline becomes apparent."
"I showed up later to dinner yesterday because I was baking a turkey. I'm the turkey. Il see myself to the kitchen table."
"Ghost: never eats, never sleeps, moans a lot Vampire: sucks the life out of u Werewolf: human w/ fits of howling Child: all of the above"
"If vampires like the taste of blood so much they should floss."
"Me: Wake up 5-year-old: Me: We're late 5: Me: The house is on fire 5: Me: Your sister touched your stuff 5: *barrel rolls out of bed*"
"Why do historians believe all nazis were women? They all had blood on their hands. Credit of the joke goes to James of FunHaus"
"Why is it so difficult for people with breast cancer to remember things? They have bad mammaries."
"[creation of insects] LIGHTNING BUG: I will illuminate the night BEE: I will pollinate flowers FLY: I will eat shit and die"