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Joke of the Day

"What is the needless meat to a vagina? The woman!"

"How did Helen Kellers parents punish her? They gave her a basketball and told her to read."

"A man walks into a bar and tells a joke that has been posted on reddit before. I only know because no one would shut the fuck up about it."

"What Did MLK Say When Asked If He Suffered From Jock Itch? I have a cream."

"The string of expletives that poured from my mouth when I woke up at 3 pm to realize my alarm didn't go off was pure smut poetry"

"My wife looked different today then it dawned on me. Her mouth was closed..."

"Cuddled up to my girlfriend last night, she said, ""Aw you finally chose me over Facebook!"" I just didn't have the heart to tell her my battery just died."

"SPOILERS: Finding Dory was just a Movie.... about her for getting home."

"Why would anyone come on Twitter JUST to argue? Don't you have an ex, or a spouse, or a family member that you can argue with?"

"I'm going out with a girl I met online who's a vegetarian... I've never met *herbivore* :)"