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Joke of the Day

"Why would anyone come on Twitter JUST to argue? Don't you have an ex, or a spouse, or a family member that you can argue with?"

"in a kindergarten class, there is a blonde, a brunette and a redhead. which one do you date? the blonde. she's 18."

"My sister teaches 1st grade. A boy in her class had a tantrum and screamed ""I hate you!"" and she gently replied ""I know. It doesn't matter."""

"Take me down to the paradise city where the grass is green and hey why did you bring all these goats they're eating this luscious grass."

"A few days ago i saw an amazing magician... When he opened his jacket and screamed Allahu Akbar he disappeared along with 30 others."

"What does it take to make a squid laugh? Ten tickles."

"Did you hear about a Russian-speaking Indian? He worships a moss cow"

"[Walmart customer service] ME: i want to talk to the manager. MANAGER: hi sir is there a problem? ME: no, i just want to talk."

"An Italian and a black jump out of a tree. Who lands first? The Italian. The black is tied to the tree."

"There are two types of people in the world: Those that can extrapolate from imperfect data"