161984

Joke of the Day

"A man walks into a bar and tells a joke that has been posted on reddit before. I only know because no one would shut the fuck up about it."

"What do Americans and Putin have in common? They'll both be nuking Turkey after Thanksgiving."

"Why did the Irish call their currency the ""Punt"" ? Because it rhymes with Bank Manager"

"Why did the elephant paint its nails red? So it could hide in the strawberry patch.... Have you ever seen an elephant in a strawberry patch? No? See, it worked!"

"What do you do with a Jew with ADHD? Put him in a concentration camp."

"What was the first mention of soccer in the bible? When Jesus went up for the cross."

"Me: I don't scare easily. Pregnant wife: All four of our daughters will be teenagers at the same time. Me: *never stops screaming*"

"There was a surprising surge in Republican support for Syrian Refugees today They found out 80% of the islamic refugees supported punishing gay people and bans on pre-marital sex. *pew-polls*"

"A goose walks into a cafe. He says, ""I want a burger, fries, and coke. Put it on my bill."""

"""What's that in the bag?"" ""An AK-47."" ""No next to that."" ""A bag of cheetos."" ""You can't bring that into the movie."""