63522

Joke of the Day

"Why did the archaeologist ask a diamond out to dinner? Because of his enthusiasm for Carbon-Dating."

"Son, you can't give me any shit about having to teach me phone or computer skills... ...after all, I taught you how to use a spoon. Props to my old man for that one."

"What's Invisible and Smells Like Mice? Cat Farts..."

"What's something that Slaves have and rich people want? Nothing!"

"No, I haven't lost weight but ""spanx"" for asking."

"When coming out of any coma, try keeping your eyes shut for another day or two to see what everyone's saying about you."

"Bon Iver just walked into my Starbucks. Wait nope just a super sad cat."

"I made my summoner name 'jokeaboutaredditmoderator' on League of Legends The enemy team kept deleting me"

"Why don't you see any slow black people? Because the slow ones are in prison."

"Last night, I was sitting next to a hot girl at the bar... ...and all I could think was, ""Don't get an erection, don't get an erection, don't get an erection..."" But she did."