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Joke of the Day

"Bon Iver just walked into my Starbucks. Wait nope just a super sad cat."

"Women say magazines portray an unrealistic image of beauty therefore making them feel inadequate. Then they buy 12 inch dildos."

"I can't decide whether to buy a bicycle or a cow for my farm. Well wouldn't you look silly riding a cow? I'd look a darn sight sillier trying to milk a bicycle!"

"So I went to my Dr. and said I needed something for my joints... He handed me a lighter"

"I'll never forget my grandfathers last words to me before he kicked the bucket. He looked me in the eyes and said, ""Son, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"""

"How do you identify a bald eagle? All his feathers are combed over to one side."

"Why did Misty want to sleep with Brock? She saw his Onix harden."

"I remember Pandora back when it was called your dad trying to find a song he liked on a road trip."

"Someone should make a website that allows you to anonymously chat with random Jews from around the world. They could call it 'Oi-megle'."

"I swallowed two strings by accident, and when I finally passed them they were miraculously tied together I shit you knot"