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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the farmer who was a heroin addict? He had to quit in the end, because he couldn't find a needle in a haystack."

"My wife's friend's baby always cries when her mom leaves the room. My son just laughs at her. Proud father of a douchebag."

"A mugger jumps out in front of a university student... ...and shouts ""your money or your life!"" The student keeps walking, and says ""Sorry mate, I'm a Computer Science student. I don't have either""."

"Hey Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me. *Tambourine Man shakes tambourine for several minutes* Well that sucked."

"If Lord of the Rings starred Denzel Washington.... ...then at least there would be a Tolkien black guy."

"I was once blind for 5 years It was a very dark time in my life."

"You say tomato, I say tomato But it doesn't make that much sense when you read it."

"Found a site for hardcore Harambe Supporters It's called Omegle, Everyone has their dicks out for Harambe."

"I had a childhood friend who had a speech impediment Needless to say, I kick ass at Mad Gab"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Alaska ! Alaska who ? Alaska my mummy !"