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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the farmer who was a heroin addict? He had to quit in the end, because he couldn't find a needle in a haystack."

Next Joke
 
"My wife's friend's baby always cries when her mom leaves the room. My son just laughs at her. Proud father of a douchebag."
"A mugger jumps out in front of a university student... ...and shouts ""your money or your life!"" The student keeps walking, and says ""Sorry mate, I'm a Computer Science student. I don't have either""."
"Hey Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me. *Tambourine Man shakes tambourine for several minutes* Well that sucked."
"If Lord of the Rings starred Denzel Washington.... ...then at least there would be a Tolkien black guy."
"I was once blind for 5 years It was a very dark time in my life."
"You say tomato, I say tomato But it doesn't make that much sense when you read it."
"Found a site for hardcore Harambe Supporters It's called Omegle, Everyone has their dicks out for Harambe."
"I had a childhood friend who had a speech impediment Needless to say, I kick ass at Mad Gab"
"Knock Knock Who's there ! Alaska ! Alaska who ? Alaska my mummy !"