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Joke of the Day

"I really wanted to remarry the woman I divorced a year ago, but she said I was only after my money."

"Bernie Sanders won another state last night! The State of Denial"

"What did the hummingbird do to his girlfriend? He nectar!"

"We're going to build a great wall to keep the inspirational tweets out. And Facebook is going to pay for it. Make Twitter Great Again."

"What did the Jewish baby say to the Rabbi? Keep the tip."

"*crawls out of your television and tries to kill you* I'm not like other girls."

"How do you annoy a Reddittor? Repost"

"A 747 just landed at Heathrow Airport in London. After the captain shutdown the engines you could still hear the whining."

"What do you call a horse wearing Venetian blinds? A zebra!"

"I've haven't made up my mind on masturbation... ...on one hand it feels good."