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Joke of the Day

"QA engineer walks into a bar ...(x-post from r/programmerHumor) Orders a beer. Orders 0 beers. Orders 999999999 beers. Orders a lizard. Orders -1 beers. Orders a sfdeljknesv."

"I've just found that my Wii remote doesn't work if you take it out of the sync region. Much like my wife."

"*Runs a bath Me: ok, jump in 3: it's too hot *Adds cold water Me: Ok, get in 3: it's too cold Apparently I gave birth to Goldilocks."

"My hobbies include reading books, eating snacks, and sending emails referencing attachments without the attachments."

"There was a man who was arrested for masturbating in a public library... He came quietly."

"Did you hear about the time when King Arthur slept with another woman? It was a one knight stand."

"A termite walks into a pub and asks... ...is the bar tender here?"

"What has four legs, is big, green, and fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree on top of you, would kill you? A pool table."

"How do you organize a party in outer space? You planet. &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; ...I'll show myself out."

"Today I woke up to a blow job.. ..never falling asleep with my mouth open again."