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Joke of the Day

"they probably named the Rocky mountains first and then saw all the other mountains and were like ""oh"""

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"School is like a boner... long and hard, unless your Asian!"
"Where do cats go after death? Purrgatory"
"I was going to look for my missing watch, but I could never find the time."
"Love how they call info pamphlets ""literature."" Like the opening line is gunna be, ""It was the best of HPV, it was the worst of HPV."""
"Honey I'm home from Costco. ""You didn't buy anything stupid this time?"" [looks outside at kayak strapped to roof rack] Define stupid?"
"What would Martin Luther King be if he was white? Alive. He would be alive."
"[3 guys corner me in an alley] 3G: Bet you're scared Me: *shows them my wife's credit card bills* 3G: *hand over their wallets* holy shit"
"my next job http://imgur.com/r3DFIHQ"
"The cost of living has now gotten so bad... ...that my wife is having sex with me because she can't afford batteries."
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