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Joke of the Day

"Making a grocery list after 8 beers is awesome because the next morning I get to wonder why I need 7000 bags of pizza rolls."

"what did the biologists call their basketball team? The Hemoglobin-Trotters!"

"Did you hear about the dog-walker that went missing? Police say they are following a few leads."

"How do you kill a circus clown? Go for the juggler"

"Knock knock -Who's there? -Ala -Ala who? -AKBAR"

"5yo's pretending she's a tourist at a hotel. All good, but I draw the line when my services are criticized because the ""toilet's too cold."""

"""Hey, did you hear about the blonde that lost over 85% of her intelligence?"" ""No, actually. How'd it happen?"" ""I dunno, but I hear that it happened at around the same time her husband died."""

"Which Greek god was annoyed by his invitation to the Goddess Dyslexia's party? Ares."

"Ey gurl, are you a TSA agent? Because I've got an unattended package I think you should investigate."

"I just told the girl I've been seeing for 2 years how I've felt about her. she's a bitch"