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Joke of the Day

"We All Love To Hate Them But... Let's Hear Your Dad Jokes. We love to hate them ( secretly of course) But let's hear the worst ones you come to hear in your life."

"I'm not saying I've gained weight, I'm just saying I don't think my belt buckle should be facing the ground..."

"Mrs. Smith: Help me doctor! My son John swallowed the can opener! Doctor: Don't panic. He'll be alright. Mrs. Smith: But how do I open the can of beans?! The toast is getting cold!"

"On hold with IKEA. The message just told me ""there's more to life than furniture."" Time to reevaluate everything I thought I knew."

"People are making end of the world jokes. Like there is no tomorrow."

"If you're a douchebag, it's so easy to find the right hat."

"[ouija board] Who are you? *board begins spelling* G-R-E-E-N--M-A-R-I-O What the -- a Luigi Board?! W-A-H-O-O--I-T-S-A--M-E"

"Me: *goes to jail for murdering coworkers* Boss: You're still coming in early tomorrow, right?"

"its always terifying when im alone in my apartment and i hear a small child's voice say ""hello"" becuase i dread making smalltalk"

"Whats the difference between a Priest and Acne? Acne will wait until you're a teenager to come on your face"