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Joke of the Day

"Why did Fetty Wap chose that as his stage name? Because he wanted to make $50K per day from ad revenue."

"The other day, after much trial and error, I successfully became completely weightless... I was like, 0mg!"

"Did you hear about the murder of the cartoon artist? The details are sketchy."

"Did you know i DJ? Yeah, but I only do it every unce in a while."

"What ward does Sauron visit in the hospital? ICU"

"Everyone was so quick to point out the obvious typo in my ""Meating in the conference room"" email. Then I pelted them with bologna."

"All these mean jokes about the Boston Marathon Bombing ... are really crossing the line... too soon?"

"*puts on satin, full length pajamas for men, slips into bed* yes... time to text some girls the word 'hey' and only the word 'hey'"

"The milk in my fridge went bad. It beat up my orange juice and started selling meth to all the condiments."

"I won't be satisfied until I have enough followers to form sects that fight about how to interpret My tweets until they kill each other."