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Joke of the Day

"The other day, after much trial and error, I successfully became completely weightless... I was like, 0mg!"

"Superman: Look, Lois! Up in the sky! It's a bird! *squints* It's a plane... *puts on glasses* Oh, it's a plane. Lois: CLARK?!?"

"What do you call a one-eyed dinosaur? Doyouthinkhesarus (Credit goes to whoever submitted that to the Coffee News)"

"A skeleton walks into a bar and says... give me a beer and a mop."

"What do you get when you combine north beach and south beach? Sum of beaches."

"My penis is like a shotgun I pump, shoot and reload"

"How many potatoes does it take to starve an Irish man? None"

"i hate when people call their grandparents weird names instead of grandma and grandpa like babooshka or salami"

"Why is the middle east the best place to open a store at the moment? Because business is booming."

"Q. What has seventy-five balls and screws old ladies? A. Bingo!"