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Joke of the Day

"*puts on satin, full length pajamas for men, slips into bed* yes... time to text some girls the word 'hey' and only the word 'hey'"

"I'm having problems with my cat, He told me i was a prima-donna, which makes no sense. She became famous in the 80's and I was born in '93. I am most certainly post-Madonna."

"My medication says to store it in a cool, dark place. So I keep it in a jazz club in Harlem."

"the year is 2086 and pizzas are delivering young men to your house"

"I texted my wife with ""ROTFHAHA"" & she replied with ""LMAO"" so I don't think she understands that I'm having a heart attack."

"Hey, do you see that big yellow thing in the sky ? Yeah, the world revolves around that. Not you."

"I wanted to make a joke about quantum superpositions But I couldn't decide on one."

"A large hole was found in the middle of the city. Officials are looking into it."

"7 y/o daughter: Hey dad, can I see your phone for a minute? Me: You got a warrant?"

"I just saw a girl pay for a drink. Is everyone okay?"