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Joke of the Day

"I want my funeral to be 20 consecutive moments of silence followed by a first-time bugler playing taps."

"Hillary demands that Trump release his tax returns Trump says - I'll email them to you."

"What do you call a car made out of Canadian money? A CADillac."

"What's a vampire's favorite drink? A Bloody Mary."

"What did the rising sun say to the morning dew? You will be mist."

"My friend found out recently that he is both gay and dyslexic. He is still in Daniel."

"That's the difference between tech support and a mass shooter? One is a troubleshooter, while the other is a troubled shooter."

"What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? A Dinosnore! PS: Caillou is the BEST show ever."

"What do you call a very nosy spice? Jalapeno Business You need to say this in a pretty thick Hispanic accent for it to work. I heard it from some classmates."

"I saw the strangest thing ever today. I threw a sausage off the pier and some blind man jumped in after it, then when he reappeared out of the water, he had transformed into a Labrador."