63162

Joke of the Day

"Teenager: Bae swag YOLO Me: In better times, people who spoke gibberish like that were burned as witches."

"What is a carpenters dream girl? Flat as a board, skinny as a nail and easy to screw."

"Have you seen the inside of Stevie Wonder's house? Neither has he."

"My wife left me because ""I am addicted to video games"".. I was so sad I could hardly console myself"

"Why don't snakes like Vitamin C? Because it's an anti-hisstamine."

"If humans were chickens, the French Revolution would've been a lot funnier... because after cutting someone's head off, their headless body would run around a few times."

"What is hot and makes me hard? Being covered in lava."

"I like my women like I like my coffee... ...all over my crotch when I'm driving."

"It's weird that my neighbors won't let me borrow their keys & make a copy of them in case I need to clean their house while they're asleep."

"Simple instructions from FBI to crack any almost any iPhone. Drop face-down on hard surface from about 4 feet in the air. That should do the trick."