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Joke of the Day

"Teenager: Bae swag YOLO Me: In better times, people who spoke gibberish like that were burned as witches."

"What do Grammar Nazis support? The Third Write"

"Don't tease fat girls; elephants never forget."

"So Twilight jokes - What does a vampire call a used tampon? A teabag."

"Jim: What shall we name our new playground invention? Roy: Idk. The playground business sure is a Jungle, Jim. Jim: ...Say that again."

"Met with a girl on tinder, Turns out her eyes were on her elbows instead of her face. She looked different than I thought she would."

"Hey girl, are you the final scene in the Sopranos? Because"

"I bought my friend an elephant for his room He said: ""Thank you."" I said: ""Don't mention it."""

"What shoes do pedophiles wear? White Vans"

"I walked into a bar and some chick tried to pick me up I said ""Put me down, you are going to hurt yourself."""