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Joke of the Day

"""Huh?"" - Wonder Woman"

"I'm unsure whether I like my beard. But it's growing on me."

"*scrawls note on deserted isle* TRAPPED ON ISLAND! HELP ME! *sends off in bottle* *it returns, months later, with reply* NEW BOTTLE WHO DIS?"

"Random drunk guy: if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put u and I together. Me: It's perfect the way it is with N and O together."

"You know what's good about pirate hookers? You can splooge in her good eye and run away without paying."

"I can't sleep; so I went out & got 2 donuts, glued them to my eyes, climbed up a tree & pretended I'm an owl."

"How do lesbian carpenters work? No studs. All tongue in groove."

"What cell carrier do Mormons use? Virgin Mobile"

"What do you call a black brick with three holes in it? A polish bowling ball."

"They ran out of bread at the Indian restaurant, but it turned out nobody cared. It was a naan issue."