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Joke of the Day

"True intimacy is chatting within a shared Google Doc"

"Why do older polygons make sure their sides all stay an equal length? It keeps you regular."

"[1994] The rejected Spice Girl, Pumpkin, sobs outside the studio. Little does she know that in 20 years their fans will love her the most."

"I'm a proud member of DAM: Mothers Against Dyslexia."

"Why was the tomato blushing? ...because he saw the salad dressing"

"How do they educate locomotive drivers? They train them"

"I always leave the room when my son's imaginary friend comes to play. I've seen 'The Sixth Sense' and frankly, I'm not taking any chances."

"Can't believe Nintendo didn't make a commercial for the Wii where a guy breaks up with a girl by saying ""It's not you, It's Wii""."

"My family doesn't have a swear jar, but we do have a totes perf jar. If you say totes or perf, we throw a jar at you"

"What do Spider-Man and Windows 98 have in common? They're always rebooting."