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Joke of the Day

"John Goodman descends from the sky on his hang glider, scooping stray cats into his mouth like a pelican."

Next Joke
 
"Have you ever heard of Skrillex? Ah forget it... I was gonna make a Dubstep joke, but I'll just drop it"
"What does a Jew do to make them love Christmas? Install a parking meter on the roof."
"What sea creature is the most self-centered? A shellfish"
"When you order a Coke and are asked if Pepsi is OK should be considered a hate crime."
"Leave comments under the college videos on porn sites. Like, 'Kelly, you better be getting an A if you're fucking the professor. Love Mom'"
"If someone doesn't respond to your text within 5 minutes, they obviously don't love you anymore. Probably never did, react accordingly."
"My child: Mom, there's a monster under my bed. Me: ""That's impossible, they're all running for president right now."""
"Batman : Do you bleed?? Wonderwoman : No Batman : ugh.. You forgot to take the pill again didn't you??"
"robbing hood http://ts2.mm.bing.net/th?&id=HN.608026807890022015&w=300&h=300&c=0&pid=1.9&rs=0&p=0"