57749

Joke of the Day

"Have you ever heard of Skrillex? Ah forget it... I was gonna make a Dubstep joke, but I'll just drop it"

"Why are ducks always sad? Because of their bills"

"What did the ocean said to the river when they parted ways ? Nothing, he was just full of tears"

"Nike has to stop it with this ""Just do it"". First it was Tiger Woods. Then Lance Armstrong. And now Oscar Pistorius."

"What's black and blue and about to hurt someone? Batman thinking about his dead parents."

"Q: How does a stereotypical blonde spell Farm? A: E-I-E-I-O."

"[OC] Name something that can be a variety of sizes, but only comes in large. My penis."

"""sir we don't hire people to be mannequins"" Me:*strikes mannequin pose* ""No, sir we don-"" M:*new pose* [under breath] ""damn this guys good"""

"For her birthday, I bought my wife a pair of shoes and a vibrator. If she doesn't like the shoes, she can go fuck herself."

"I'm really sorry to hear about Donald Trump Nothing happened to him. I'm just sorry to hear about him."