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Joke of the Day

"Everyone in ""Star Wars"". Everyone in ""The Muppets"". Everyone in ""Game of Thrones"". This is now the first tweet with over 140 characters."

"Shouldn't the Air and Space museum be empty?"

"My wife does this cute thing. She sets her alarm clock an hour before she has to get up and then hits snooze 27 times. It's so adorable."

"What if Hitler was cast for 'The Matrix' instead of Keanu Reeves? The movie would have been pretty... Neo-Nazi."

"How does Donald Trump plan to expel all Muslims from the county? Legalize Uber."

"What does it mean to come home to a man who'll give you some love and tenderness? You're in the wrong house."

"a cannibal's favorite drink What drink does a cannibal have after a long day? a handshake!"

"I accidentally wet the bed I share with my girlfriend.... She's still pissed"

"What Time Did Sean Connery Arrive at Wimbledon? Tennish"

"My phone doesn't auto capitalize the 'G' in god but it auto capitalizes the 'K' in Kevin. So now I worship Kevin."