146679

Joke of the Day

"What do Roman Polanski and Bumblebee Tuna have in common? They both come in little cans."

"I asked 100 women which shampoo they preferred... The top answer was: ""How in the hell did you get in here?"""

"When is a penis not a penis? When it's a **foot**"

"Why are art contests so disappointing? They always end in a draw"

"I judge you by what's behind you in your photos."

"What did the blanket say as it fell of the bed? Sheet"

"You'll catch more flies with honey than you will with vinegar. Also a rotting corpse will work. Or poop. Lots of ways to attract flies."

"How fast do lesbians have sex? Lickety-split."

"A: Knock knock... B: Who's there? A: Gas station security, you tore down a poster in a bathroom, give us the money in your wallets or we'll shoot you"

"*During math test* My answer: 28. Answer choices: 17, 19, 26, 45. Me: ""well 26 is closer to 28, so that must be the answer."""