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Joke of the Day

"(not sure if repost) What do you call a black man that drives an airplane? A fucking pilot you racist!"

"For years I've been wiping my arse with my right hand. I now realise that I should have been using toilet paper."

"Her: Dude, back off. You're totally scaring away all the hot guys checking me out at the gym. Me: You do realize I'm your boyfriend right?"

"Man walks into a bar... mitzvah. There was no beer so he left lol"

"My husband got some virtual reality goggles for christmas and so far I like them because they make him very vulnerable to attack."

"The Pope walks into a mosque The Imam asks ""Why the wrong faith?"""

"Based on how I startle when toast pops up, I will never look cool walking away from an explosion."

"Penguins can't fly. Sometimes I get bummed out thinking about that. But then I remember I don't have to clean penguin shit off my car."

"What's green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree would kill you? A pool table."

"Toast at a Wedding ""May you live as long as you want and not want for as long as you live."" That's an Irish toast. ""Cinnamon, eggs, bread, and maple syrup."" That's a French toast."