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Joke of the Day
"Croutons and cherry tomatoes are the natural enemies of the plastic fork."
Next Joke
"Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic who stayed up all night debating the existence of Dog?"
"Breaking: Brad and Angelina have broken up. Thousands of kids homeless."
"My girlfriend just introduced me to the parents. As if I've never met my own mum and dad before."
"My girlfriend's been trying to help me with my finances. I think I'd be better off a loan."
"DATE: I chose this restaurant for the ambience. ME: Ah, very good. [to waiter] A bottle of your finest Ambiens, please."
"If an honest man says he has to use the bathroom He's full of shit."
"I got in line behind an old classmate of mine while vacationing at Disney World... I said ""Wow, it's a small world!"" She said, ""actually this is Pirates of the Caribbean."""
"So a proctologist is examining a patient. He pulls an anal thermometer out of his coat to make some notes. Looks at it and says ""Damnit some asshole has my pen!"""
"What do skinny jeans and cheap hotels have in common? No *ball*room"