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Joke of the Day

"Cats and Dogs Did you know cats are smarter than dogs? Dogs can't take x-rays, but cats can."

"My kids teach me something every day. Today my 1-year-old taught me how much plumbers cost per hour. Who flushes a potato?"

"(NSFW) What did God say when he walked in on his son masturbating? ""Jesus fucking Christ!"" I'll see myself out."

"Repeatedly referring to the electrician as a ""take charge kind of guy"" is a great way to make your doorbell turn on the garbage disposal."

"Not really getting much out of this Bring Your Daughter to Work Day, to be honest. It's almost as if my 6yo had never used PowerPoint before"

"""I'm tired but I'd really love to be exhausted and covered in my own sweat."" - Naps"

"""I wish there was a more convenient way to stalk others""- The phrase that started Facebook"

"A seal walks into a club. The end."

"What was the oak's favorite subject? Chemistree."

"They took my mood ring... ...and I don't know how i feel about it."