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Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you cross a Mexican with an octopus? I dunno, but you should see that son of a bitch hang dry wall."

"Why did ginny make harry get rid of his invisibility cloak? He kept coming out of no where"

"My gran'dad made moonshine and died at the ripe old age of 38... Ellen Degeneris"

"How does Samuel L Jackson create fire with an orange? He uses Pulp Friction"

"The most impressive thing about marathon runners is how they don't check their phone for 3+ hours."

"A man walks into a bar... ... ouch."

"At the disco last night. They played twist. I did the twist. They played jump. I jumped. They played come on Eileen. I got kicked out."

"What do you call a picture of Simon Pegg's brother? JPEG"

"I'd like to buy a new boomerang please. Also, can you tell me how to throw the old one away?"

"What do you call the person that cleans the Mafia's hotel rooms? A maid man."