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Joke of the Day

"The Taliban heavily overestimates the need for monkey-bar training."

"You say the punch line first. Whats the best way to ruin a joke?"

"Why didn't Count Dracula get married? He wanted to remain a bat-chelor."

"An officer pulled me over for driving erratically, but it was because some bees had gotten into my car. He must have thought I was buzzed."

"The only thing more important than your happiness is mine so get on it."

"Why wasn't Euro Disney popular? Every time they set off the fireworks, the French surrendered."

"What's the difference between someone who doesn't use their turn signal and Hitler? You know Hitler will turn Reich."

"Me: Go to bed 5-year-old: One more question Me: Fine 5: Who would win if Luke Skywalker fought Harry Potter? Me 5: Me: Get some coffee"

"The worst thing about Hillary Clinton is she can't dicks out for Harambe even if she wanted to. Even Michelle can do that."

"How do blind people know when to stop wiping their ass?"