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Joke of the Day
"""Hey, it's been 6 seconds. Check your phone again."" (my brain)"
Next Joke
"One jihadist said to another, ""How many infidels do we kill?"" He answered, ""Allah them"""
"What did Ray Charles say when they handed him a cheese grater? This is the most violent thing I've ever read."
"Don't be silly! A kid's name doesn't affect the type of person they become. Now come and hold my sweet baby Lucifer Charles Manson Hitler."
"Two birds are sitting on a perch. One bird says to the other, ""Do you smell fish?"""
"""Is there a Mrs. Prime?"" -- EVERY GIRL TRANSFORMER EVER, I MEAN LOOK AT HIM"
"What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhinoceros? Elephino. (You may have to sound it out.)"
"Did you hear about the dwarf who failed? He came up short"
"if you're in a sports bar but don't understand sports just keep repeating the phrase ""damn they gotta get him the ball."" everyone will agree"
"I'm so Italian . . . I even text with my hands."