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Joke of the Day
"I bet people who see Jesus in a grilled cheese sandwich freak out over latte art."
Next Joke
"Someone just used my driveway to turn around and now I'm standing outside with two open beers and *lonely face*"
"""I was going to watch a German football team play today, but I couldn't leave the house because I don't know where I left the key."" ""Bayern?"" ""No, I checked the mantelpiece."""
"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship."
"Freedom of expression is great... I can make a kissy face, smiley face or a frowny face, and there's not a damn thing anyone can do about it"
"Jerry (Man pukes in plastic bag) Man:I made breakfast, let's put it in the fridge (Puts it in toilet tank) Man:Time for bed (Crawls in to tub)"
"Counterfeit $1 bills reportedly found in circulation Be on the lookout for hot singles in your area."
"My gf went to the beauty parlor and got a Brazilian. Nothing extreme, just punched her."
"Be a deer and get shot in the woods for me?"
"My GF is like my treasure... I buried her in my backyard yesterday."