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Joke of the Day

"do the Simpsons know they're all dying of jaundice"

"There'd be no reason to see a doctor if WebMD gave out prescriptions."

"Curling irons have a warning tag that says ""For External Use Only."" Which of you sick fucks made that necessary?"

"What do you call it if you put an IED on an Italian? Rigatoni!"

"Why are gay people such good swimmers? because they are flambuoyant"

"What does the average Alabama football player get on his SATs? Drool"

"What do internet football fans sing? E we go E we go E we go!"

"PMS: I'm sorry. ME: Why? It's a good day. PMS: Wait for it. ME: [2 secs later] DID MY PARENTS REALLY TAKE MY DOG TO A FARM WHEN I WAS 5?!"

"What did the blindman say when he walked by the fish market? Helllllllloooooo (insert your mother's/wife's/sister's/grandmother's name here.)"

"The girl next to me is texting her friend about how there's an annoying guy looking at her phone, lemme show her which emojis to use."