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Joke of the Day

"Shriek your Twitter name between songs at concerts and hope that it makes the live album."

"A little boy went up to his father and asked, ""Dad, where did my intelligence come from? Father replied, ""Well, son, you must have got it from your mother, because I still have mine."""

"How are children like slinkies? It's fun to toss them down stairs."

"What do women and police cars have in common? They both make a lot of noise to let you know they are coming."

"I met a guy named Richard... I said, ""Can I call you Ritchie or are you gonna be a Dick about it?"""

"On my tax form I checked the single box but added ""and looking""."

"A deaf man and deaf lady go on a date..."

"What's a pirate's favorite letter? Many think it be 'r' but in fact it be the 'c'"

"What do you call a guy who always phones people? Colin."

"Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas? Santa Jaws."