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Joke of the Day

"Shriek your Twitter name between songs at concerts and hope that it makes the live album."

"KNOCK KNOCK... Who's there? Kicks! Kicks who? Kicks Ronda Rousey for the Knock out!"

"What happened to the fireman who let the house burn? He got fired."

"Waiting to see who sits next to you on a plane feels like the opposite of winning the lottery."

"Here's a nerdy joke: If you use 8 bits from a Macbook, are you taking a bite from an Apple? Crunch."

"One thing I've learned about this world is that there are always going to be people who want to change you. -babies"

"How do fat women defy physics? Because the heavier they get, the easier they are to pick up."

"Having trouble making friends? Just tell a girl you love her and her first reaction is to say lets just be friends."

"What's the difference between an Alto and a Tenor? The Tenor doesn't have hair on his back."

"I hope puns are okay. If you live downwind from a milk processing plant, everything smells like dairy air."