62262

Joke of the Day

"If only women knew that being happy with themselves is the most attractive quality they can ever offer."

"My idea of Hell would be Carrot Top and Shaun White taking turns sneezing in my face."

"What's the favorite dairy product of Wall Street executives? 1% milk"

"News:""a black bear hovered over a convenience store in central Florida for more than seven hours..."" They have hover bears? jealous again"

"Why is it better to be a hooker than a drug dealer? Because you can sell the same crack over and over again."

"How many times do I have to say ""excuse me"" before ""get the f*ck out of my way"" becomes acceptable?"

"Its been really hot in Seattle lately, so I converted my dishwasher into an air conditioner the other day. How? I handed my wife a hand fan to keep me cool."

"Sorry I commented on that video of your kid taking his first steps with ""aw look you taught it how to walk on its hind legs!"""

"Want to feel old? Tsar Simeon I of Bulgaria would be 1,150 years old today!"

"How is your golf game? Eh... It's sub-par."