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Joke of the Day

"Duck Joke Q: Why did the duck go to jail? A: He was selling quack."

"It is true. Time flies when you are having fun. However it is also true that Time eventually rests on a tree branch and shits on your head."

"It's weird how scantrons make you go #2 all over them."

"There is no good path to take when you come to a spork in the road."

"if you eat four pieces of pizza without separating them, it counts as just one. #dieting #fitness."

"Stevie Wonder was in a horrendous car accident the other week. His life flashed before his ears."

"id be so offended if a group of ppl just rolled through my room on safari rn as im lounging in bed and just pointed at me and took pictures"

"Did you hear about angle 57.29 He's rad"

"Why did the console peasant cross the road? To render the buildings on the other side"

"We basically broke up with Pluto by saying it wasn't a planet anymore then spent 9yrs obsessing about it & just drove by its house real slow"