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Joke of the Day

"We basically broke up with Pluto by saying it wasn't a planet anymore then spent 9yrs obsessing about it & just drove by its house real slow"

"So America won gold for shooting in the Olympics. No suprise there."

"Got a handjob from a blind girl last night She said ""You're dicks the biggest one I've ever put my hands on."" I said ""Nahh, you're just pullin' my leg."" Edit: spell check"

"Where are all of the creative Calculus jokes? All these new ones are so derivative..."

"How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb? Two. The light bulb you remove and the light bulb you replace it with."

"What do you call 500 dead lawyers chained together at the bottom of the ocean? A good start"

"When I see a girl with a lot of makeup, I want to use my finger & write ""WASH ME"" on her face."

"Why does Snoop Dogg always carry an umbrella? For Drizzle."

"Sandpaper I've been charged with murder for killing a man with sandpaper. Gosh, I only intended to rough him up a bit."

"What do dyslexic zombies want to eat? Brians"