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Joke of the Day

"I peeled off the sticker that said ""Don't consume alcohol while on medication."" I don't need that kind of negativity in my life."

"How many Serbs does in take to change a Lighbulb? It doesn't matter..Theres a Blackout!"

"What did one snail say to the other? Nothing. They were both decoys."

"""Yes mam that'll be $1200"" ""Just to remove a cassette tape that's stuck?"" ""Ma'm, it's in your CD player"""

"What's white, but has a black asshole? The Whitehouse."

"If you're famous and your name suddenly becomes a Twitter trending topic, you are probably dead."

"50% of mariachi bands end in divorciachi."

"Why did the zookeeper take a piss on the seel? He couldn't hold it."

"Young man cashier: Ma'am, if you don't mind me saying, you have really beautiful eyes. What I heard: Ma'am"

"FUN PRANK: tweet ""going hang gliding!!!!"" then don't tweet again for 12 years"