61983

Joke of the Day

"""Can I get 2 boxes of Sudafed?"" ""Sorry, by law you can only buy one at a time."" ""Okay then just the one box of Sudafed and these 7 guns."""

"What do cow pastures smell like? Dairy air"

"Q: Why was the belt thrown in jail? A: He held up a pair of pants."

"No matter how much I try to buy those supermarket conveyor belt dividers... The cashier just keeps putting them back!"

"I lost my watch at a party... Saw a guy stepping on it while bullying a smaller dude. I walked up to the guy, and punched him. It's not okay to bully... not on my watch."

"My Mom taught me to treat others the way I want to be treated so I always walk up to strangers and spray canned cheese in their mouth."

"Its a joke not a d*ck, don't take it to hard."

"I found some good cookie recipes with weed the other day. Then I was like, ""That's a weird place to keep cookie recipes""."

"What kind of porn do blind people watch? (NSFW) Ebony"

"If a king farts... Is it considered a noble gas?"